Perhaps the only thing worse than a Taco Bell bathroom is modern dating, seeing as both are very risky and full of shit. From a young age, we’re suffocated with the idea that we will embark on adulthood and cross paths with the love of our life. He will romantically sweep you off your feet and all will be well in the world. What the stories fail to mention are that more often than not your knight in shining armor is just a dumb ass plastered in tinfoil. Realistically speaking, I’ve gone through more tinfoil than Martha Stewart during the holidays and I can confidently ask us all this very direct question– What the fuck are we doing?
A wise Pinterest quote once said, “Stop doing wife duties for a man that deserves cold ravioli from the can.” That spoke to me, and into the trash went the homemade ribs as I searched hastily for a (most likely expired) can of Spaghetti-O’s. Not that his poorly cultivated tastebuds would know the difference, anyway.
Here’s a wild thought; what if we all aren’t meant to live like Cinderella? Maybe it’s the image in our head of how our lives are supposed to transpire that continues to pull us from our designated purpose in life. Do you really think Mother Teresa woke up during infancy and cooed, “I’m going to be a nun”? I’m sure at one point she heard a fairytale or two and thought, “I can’t wait to find my prince…” Clearly that woman was a hell of a lot more practical than us dreamers because she hopped off that band wagon real quick and took an oath of celibacy. I’d love to meet the man (or men, I don’t judge) that drove that woman so far into despair that she became a fucking nun…
But for good reason! Mother Teresa changed the world. Whether it was a strong will to do good or an abundance of greasy fuck boys (I personally like to think it was an even blend of both), she abandoned the societal expectation and became greater than any man that ever stood in her way.
Be a nun! Find strength in helping others, but simultaneously take care of yourself and learn to live without the constant need of a significant other. This is a lesson that I continue struggle with, and I can promise you and I am far from the finish line. Not everyone’s destiny is to settle down with a stock broker and have a gang of preppy babies that wear boat shoes and polo tees. We all change the world in our own way, and some of us are destined to do it single. However, single doesn’t mean alone. It’s our job to assess the company we keep and find our “soulmate” so to speak in our friends and family. You are only as lonely as you choose to be.
I say this with complete seriousness and utmost support, be your own man. Sweep yourself off of your own damn feet and be your own knight in shining armor! The biggest battle we will ever face is finding happiness, and it’s time we secure our success by finding happiness in ourselves. At the end of the day, we can never lose the reflection we meet in the mirror.
notthejohnnykind 