Perhaps the only thing worse than a Taco Bell bathroom is modern dating, seeing as both are very risky and full of shit. From a young age, we’re suffocated with the idea that we will embark on adulthood and cross paths with the love of our life. He will romantically sweep you off your feet … More Why (I Think) Mother Teresa REALLY Became a Nun
I am a college drop out, wine connoisseur, Amazon Prime junkie, and still lacking a fully committed relationship. I’ve swiped so many times in dating apps that I most likely have carpel tunnel. By society’s standards, I, at 23, am a failure. And I couldn’t be happier. What contaminates our confidence and happiness in life … More Why I Am Proud To Be A Failure At 23
Dear Riley , Let’s just get this out of the way— I know you ate my carne asada burrito last week upon my hasty exit to answer a ringing doorbell. You continued to act confused and radiate innocent, but I saw the slice of cilantro in your teeth… Traitor. Throughout my entire life I have … More Dear Riley
Credit cards are not limitless… Let’s just kick off this letter of redemption to hopefully redeem the debt you accrued over concert tickets with boys you’ll never see again and shoes that were anything but worth it. However, while your financial escapades have clearly proven unworthy, the personal choices you’ve made up to now, although … More Dear Dumb Ass
According to my Instagram, I’m a pro snowboarding, adventure seeking, slim and slender yet fast food eating, high life-styling, stiletto wearing, fashion forward wannabe model. However, despite this alluring facade and string of top notch filters, I’m nothing more than a sweatpants enthusiast who enjoys far too many documentaries, multiple trips to local fast food restaurants, … More Why I’m Not As Cool As My Instagram
It goes without saying that I was a rambunctious child who cringed at the word “no” and made it my mission to set out and embark on every endeavor I was demanded not to attempt. I was the child that touched a hot stove immediately after being told “Don’t touch”, strictly because I rebelled authority … More Why I Can’t Give Up
As a child, the biggest summer embarrassments consisted of not rocking the same Abercrombie bikini as every basic, future skank and committing the ultimate aquatic sin of peeing in the pool. For those claiming you’ve never partaken in this incredibly convenient, but downright disgusting, act, you’re a dirty liar. No child will sacrifice a round … More Why I Pee In The Pool
Growing up, I was haunted by the words, “You remind me of your mother”. As a child struggling to find my own identity and place in this world, the last thing I wanted was to be compared to the woman who refused me cookies after 7 pm and hovered over my shoulder to … More Mother’s Day Memoir
Plain and simple, my father is a blue collar man who believed most things could be fixed with a little duct tape, a touch of WD-40, and a quick prayer to the Lord. However, although these altogether can be deemed perhaps the simplest of remedies, my dad is the most complex man I have ever met. My … More The “Thank You” I Never Gave My Father
We’ve all encountered those unfortunate experiences in which we leave the house with confidence in our appearance, only to come home and catch glimpse of your defeated reflection, thinking “Did I look like this all day?!” However, have any of you women caught glimpse of a seemingly random reflection in a window or mirror and … More When The Ugly Reflection I Judged Was My Own [Literally]
notthejohnnykind 