Dear Younger Me

Girl, you done f***** up.

While you’re most likely indulging in a late night snack or getting caught up in the world of boys (we’ll address that chaos further in), you can’t fathom the uncanny roller coaster that you’re about to cluelessly embark on. While you may think you’re prepared for any obstacle or curve ball that may stand in your way, I promise you that you couldn’t be further from it.

Your taste in food and clothing will change faster than your ability to spend money, which is absolutely disgusting seeing how hard you’ve worked to get where you are. You have no concept of a dollar, let alone the ability to save and secure stability for your future. Basically, you’re a financial mess. But I can promise you that vintage pin up dress and godawful stripper heels aren’t worth your interest, paycheck, or dignity. Knowing you (me), you’re going to be incredibly stubborn and do the deed anyway because, in the back of your mind, you’re certain that those unnecessary items will be called for one day and you’ll be ready. I can assure you they won’t be.

Listen to more music. Don’t shut out ACDC and Metallica because you’re confident that they’re grungy, uncomfortably aggressive bands that have absolutely no appeal to your musical palette. You’d probably blush at how often “Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)” has been blasted from your stereo or how proficiently you can keep up with Eminem during your epic “Shake That” moments. You’re not good by any means, but you’re entertaining.

Don’t worry about how other girls look, act, dress, or compose themselves. You’ve spent far too much time obsessing about the things that make you stand out for all the wrong reasons instead of embracing your unique characteristics and owning the traits that make you Vanessa. Don’t get hung up by those that condemn you for your spark of energy or your ability to hold a steady conversation with even a freshly painted wall. Be you and don’t jump on the social media band wagon. Your personality will be one of the first things people attack about you, so brush it off when the arrogant jerk tells you that you’re “not outgoing enough”. It’ll sting, but you’ll soon realize that he was only upset that you didn’t hop into bed with him, and I can guarantee if you were anymore outgoing you’d have quite a few deadly hits on your head.

Now– for the boys. I wish you would’ve gone to Catholic school and accepted Jesus Christ as the only man you’ll ever need. (It would have eliminated a lot of problems down the road.) However, you rebelled and it’s a lesson you need to experience to understand why things happen the way they do. You’re going to have your heart broken many MANY times, and it never gets easier. You’re going to be well beyond the point of giving up and desperately crying on deaf ears. Please don’t give up. Although the heartache and unbearably long days seem recurring and worse than ever imagined, it’s going to pass. You’re counting on it to keep going. Not quickly, by any means. You’re going to struggle and encounter some mornings where even taking your next breath seems like the most challenging process in the world– but you can do it. Keep your head as high as your stripper heels and be strong. Don’t rely on others to make you feel validated; you are merely a strong, independent woman who just needs a light snack and a nap. Always sleep on a decision before you make it– a fresh day means a fresh mind and I’m confident those boys aren’t giving you a fraction of the thought you’re giving them. 

It’s okay to take a break, but never give up. The fight in your heart will be all you have at times, especially in moments like right now. Be selfish. Have a “Vanessa Day” and do whatever you have to in order to find that tenacious, vibrant, happy-go-lucky girl that landed herself her dream job based on her lively personality and corny jokes. Had I given up when I thought all was lost, I wouldn’t be writing this letter to you now to tell you all the wonderful things you’re going to experience. Keep going.

One last thing– skip the black hair. You’re going to have so much more fun as a blonde. Hang in there girlfriend.



Your Better Half


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