In light of the numerous complaints I see and hear regarding [wrongfully awarded] self entitlement and selfish beliefs, I’m going drop a heavy concept. I genuinely think a lot of you need to experience being a twin. Although one of the biggest blessings, it is also one of the most invasive experiences and possibly the most robbing of individuality.
The rigorous life a twin begins far before birth. Not only did I share a womb with another naked, highly aggressive individual for the first 9 month and 2 weeks (bless my mother!) of my development, but that lack of space continued throughout our lives. “Space” doesn’t exist! It was a term I essentially had never heard until I reached an older age and not old discovered, but witnessed various friends having a room to themselves, their OWN toys, and new clothes that they had chosen themselves. I will always recognize that profound moment when I mentally thought to myself, “Am I being punished?”
As a twin, you rarely do things alone. “Wanna take a bath? Perfect! Let me get your sister!” Additionally, treats and snacks MUST be divided equally to avoid a relentless Saturday Night Smackdown! “You earned a Popsicle? Nice job! Get your sister one, too!” My sister and I rarely had something that the other didn’t. Parents, you will never full understand the “But she got one” mentality until you have twins. With typical siblings, you as a parent can use the “She’s older” excuse, or the “She needs it for…” My sister and I essentially had and typically did the exact same things, so good luck to my mother to adequately explain as to why Jacquelin is getting a brand new Furby (Remember those?) and I was being asked to settle for the defective teddy bear. And my mother, who would rather dish out the $25 difference than tell me I was being naughty and risk Little Vanessa having an epic meltdown mid-shopping trip, bit the bullet every time just to make our lives “fair” and her life free of migraines and empty wine bottles.
Continued, every child is born with a name. However, when you and our sister are a mere one minute apart, you no longer get the luxury of being reference by that name. You are either nonchalantly referred to as “the twins”, or you may get a rare, but incredibly powerful, moment as “Jacquelin and Vanessa”. We were a power couple before power Brad and Angie; RIP to their marriage that was once an inspiration to us all. Realistically, if they can’t do it after an affair and a village of children, who can?
And, perhaps the most heartbreaking part of our story, hand-me-downs. Jac didn’t have the best sense of style, by a long shot, leaving the smaller, younger (by one minute…) sister in hideous, Rugrats printed overalls! My sister knew the game all too well, as I sometimes believed she bought the atrocious wardrobe options only to see my cry upon receiving them when the new school year came.
However, despite this tragic lack of space, the title of “The Twins”, fighting for recognition as well as the last chicken nugget, and a hideous wardrobe amongst various other things, I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. While my sister and I had our fair share of heated, and often bloody, battles, I always had a ride or die best friend at the end of the day. Regardless of whatever heartbreaking situation we had been fronted with, my sister and I knew that 3 minutes, 3 days, or 3 months of heartache is not comparable to the 9 months and 2 weeks we spent not only growing together, but becoming ourselves. It took me years to recognize it, but I wasn’t being punished. I was fortunate enough to be given a gift; one that I never never want to lose. I was finally content with not having my own room, sharing my toys, and on occasion giving up the last chicken nugget. All these small expectations weren’t so overbearing because I had my sister, who is worth all the chicken nuggets in the world.
I firmly wish everyone had that incredible opportunity, seeing that it taught me to share, eliminated any feelings of self entitlement, and brought me back to reality. We, as a whole, need to stop acting like somebody/everybody owes us something. Man the f— up! Life is too important to spend it harping on what you haven’t been given or what you haven’t experienced. I can promise you, if you present your minute issues to an individual who has been given mere months to live, they will immediately choose your seemingly petty life over their own because you have been blessed with time. Time is so valuable.
You’re right; life sucks. But only if you let it. You can either complain about the sand on the beach, or suck it up to enjoy a breathtaking sunset.
Things aren’t alway fair, but you don’t see me suing my parents over it. I mean, unless any of you think I could win… 😉